Joy: It’s a Choice

The lesson from this past season can best be defined as two words: choose joy. Joy is something that can be frustrating. We often view it as a situational emotion, rather than a constant. For me, it has mostly been determined by my environment and by my performance in life. I naturally struggle with seeing the worst first in many situations. This season, I’ve learned that not choosing joy plays a large role in that. This past season has been one of growth for me. I have been blessed with many unique opportunities in life and I’ve always felt extremely grateful for them. But in the last year, I’ve learned the actual value of my experiences. They have shown me who I am as a person.  

For this to make sense, I want to explain what started me down this path. I discovered that “joy” and “happiness” tend to be two similar, yet different things. I have always thought of them as the same. Two interchangeable words with the same definition. Recently I learned that they aren’t, especially when it comes to emotions. Happiness is more common and it is situational. For example, being around my friends makes me happy, spending time with my family makes me happy, or playing volleyball makes me happy. Joy, however, is a choice. A choice I get to make every day. Joy is not situational. Joy is a blessing. Joy comes from Jesus, who was known as true joy. It is a gift that we get from free will; to wake up and choose to find joy in whatever situation we may find ourselves in that day. It is learning to see the blessings, small or large, all around us. God has been teaching me to recognize these for a few months now.

I recently went home for a dear friend’s wedding (which was amazing by the way). Almost all of my friends from home were there and we got to spend an entire weekend together celebrating the sweet couple. It was so special because it is rare for that many of us to be gathered in one place anymore. Life has moved us all away from each other lately. The entire time I was home I kept thinking to myself, “I wish it could be like this all the time.” But on my flight home, as I was replaying the weekend in my mind, I realized that is exactly what made the weekend so special. Reunions like that are so far apart for us now, which can be sad. But that is exactly what makes them so sweet. We treasure our time together while we have it. At that moment I felt God say, “This is choosing joy.” It’s choosing to look for the blessings and it’s how you choose to approach life.

Joy is also something that dictates how I feel “on the inside”. I recently went through a season that honestly was pretty joyless. I felt hollow and dry inside. I felt like something was missing. I was struggling with balance in my life. And my relationship with Jesus was definitely put on the back burner (which explains the emptiness feeling). I was still going through the motions like going to church, listening to worship music, and going to my group worship nights but I wasn’t being intentional. I wasn’t spending quality time with Jesus and working on my relationship with Him, which made me feel like I was slipping away. It felt like I was fighting this internal battle to stay afloat.

Once a month, my group goes to this amazing event called OC Worship Night. These are easily the highlight Sunday night of each month for us. You can feel the Holy Spirit MOVE through the room and IT IS REMARKABLE! I learned what it looked like to “choose joy” for the first time at one of these a few months ago. I was sitting in the middle of the crowd feeling numb inside. I didn’t know what it was and I didn’t want to share what I was going through. I was ashamed that I was struggling. So instead I sulked in it. I was fighting off negative thoughts of “you aren’t good enough” and “you aren’t worthy”, which are typically where I’m attacked the most. This heaviness was weighing on me and then it felt like it was settling over the whole room. This gathering unites a pretty lively group of people. For us, worship is whatever you want to make of it. People sing their hearts out, raise their hands, and dance. Whatever helps you feel connected to God, go for it. But people began singing softer and sitting down more. It felt suffocating as it settled over the room. Then someone started raising her voice. She was just singing. No words, just praising God with the sound of her voice. I felt like I needed to join in. The words “choose joy” floated through my mind. So I stood up and decided that it was time to choose to change how I was feeling. Others quickly joined in and that heaviness retreated from the room so fast. It was like someone flipped a light switch. Everyone started singing and praising and dancing. It was incredible! I began feeling more like myself. I felt so relieved when one of the band members spoke up about what I’d experienced. He felt it too. The room experience breakthrough from the heaviness that had started settling on all of us. 

Since that experience, I have paid attention to ways I can “choose joy” in different places. I was basing how I felt on my performance on my team rather than the experiences and relationships I had been blessed with. I start everyday with practice at the beach, which has taken on a whole new depth for me. I was always thankful before but it weighs more now. I was sulking because I missed my friends from A&M and then my newer ones from Huntington Beach. Now I’m trying to invest more in the people around me. I’m learning to appreciate the new passions that I have discovered that I would have never known had I not transferred schools.

It may be challenging to see in tough situations but being joyful is always a choice. God is always with us so there is always something to be thankful for, no matter the circumstance. We can choose to see the blessings even when we might not feel their weight presently. But choosing joy is a step in that direction that we have complete control over. 

I hope this touches your heart like it does mine!

With love,

Paige Riley