Find your Tribe. Love them Hard.

There is a picture in the house where my California family lives that says, “Find your tribe. Love them hard.” The glass is cracked from a fall it took at some point and it needs some help standing upright. Yet, even though it’s broken, it sits proudly on the shelf in our home. It hasn’t lost its beauty or value in our eyes even though it’s been damaged. I think it perfectly describes our little family. Each of us is very different. We come from different backgrounds, have different passions, different personalities, different ways of receiving things, and yet we fit together in a beautiful way. Like all families, we aren’t perfect. We all see the world a little differently but we bring out so much good in each other. We challenge each other to grow and love each other fully including our differences. Our foundation is built on Jesus’ love and we are so close because of it. Some have lived together for years now and some (aka me) live far away and have to commute. But everyone is still welcomed and loved equally. My favorite part about the picture that I first described is the “love them hard” part because it’s so true. Loving people can be really hard. Everyone has different needs, wants, and love languages. Some people receive love well and others have a harder time with it. But that is the beauty of it. You have to love people hard to truly love them. You have to work at it constantly by taking the time to intentionally know each person for who they are. This is what it means to truly love radically. 

This requires vulnerability. For me, this is the hardest part of loving people. These walls that I have been built up over time are my best defense against pain. They are meant to protect me from the ways I have been hurt before. But loving people means getting to know them and letting them get to know you in return. It means allowing others to fully love you because that is what we were created for. Jesus constantly tells us to love God and love people throughout the gospels. A few weeks ago, my pastor was talking about growing in the prophetic and hearing God speak to you. He explained that in order to do this then you have to have an intimate relationship with Jesus. He compared it to our relationships with the people in our lives. He said, “You can’t know someone intimately if you don’t know the sound of their voice. You can only be told so much about someone. But in order to truly know them, you have to spend quality time with them.” The same goes for our relationships with those around us. The people God places in our lives are one of the many ways that He loves us. He created us for community centered around His love and, through this, He shows up every day. The family that He surrounded me with was unexpected but exactly what I needed at the time.

Our Father definitely has a sense of humor. He knows exactly what we need at the exact moment that we need it. We pray for things and He answers (Luke 11:10). Sometimes (most of the time) it isn’t in ways that we expect though. In January of 2017, I moved to Califonia alone. I knew He had a purpose in relocating me so I prayed constantly for friends my age. In May, He answered that prayer. I moved to Huntington Beach and was connected to an awesome group of FCA volleyball people who were exactly what I needed at the time. The following month I made more friends at the beach and finally started feeling settled in my new home. Eventually, I committed to transfer to a school in Los Angeles and was relocated again. I was disappointed because I didn’t want to leave the people behind that I had grown so close to but I knew that I wasn’t the one in control. I joined a new team but still felt a little out of place. Because of this, I prayed for God to bring me a new group/family to be a part of again. He answered this prayer but in two separate ways that I wasn’t expecting. In my mind, my prayer would be answered by meeting a completely new set of people my age through my school. God had other plans. He led me to a church in Santa Monica where I met two amazing women that I quickly grew to love and then He brought me back around to the first group of people that welcomed me in with open arms in Huntington. I never lost contact with them but wasn’t as invested I had once been. I started to say yes to them more. I began growing closer with them each individually and as a whole. As a result, my walls slowly slipped down and I let these people love me for who I am, the good and the bad. They became my family over the next two semesters and they have loved me hard during my time here.  

God loves to use His kids in so many ways, including to love each other. He loves you so much and community is one of the ways that He loves to do this. It’s one of the beautiful things He created us for. So I want to encourage you to love people hard and let them love you in return because that is what loving radically is all about.